Operation: Screw Destiny!
by Heart of PureSilver
Summary: When I died, I was reborn in the body of Neji Hyuga; the second most infuriating ninja prodigy of the Naruto series. There were two clear choices I could make: continue to let the plot go as intended and act just like my character or mess with everything that Kishimoto set up as revenge. Well, I know my choice! I'm screwing destiny over! OC Self-Insert


Hello there. My name is Diana Stewart. I have platinum blonde hair and blue eyes. I'm sixteen years old and I am a huge _Naruto_ fan. To be honest, anime of any kind appeals to me but _Naruto_ happens to be my favorite. I was a great student in school and I lived my life to the best of my ability, trying to make the right choices when I could. But this is all irrelevant. Why, you ask? Simple.

I died.

I don't really remember the pain of dying. It was a rather absurd notion to think that one wouldn't remember something like that. I still remember _how_ I died though. It was a summer night. It was humid as hell, it was raining, and there was lots of fog. I was walking home from a friend's house after spending the whole day celebrating her eighteenth birthday. It was on one of those streets where I died.

It was just my luck that someone decided to rob me of my purse in the middle of night. It was just my luck I decided to fight back against the jerk. It was just my luck he had a gun and shot me in the head with it before running off with my belongings.

I was destiny's little toy that day and it pissed me off. I was only sixteen. I had my whole life ahead of me and some bastard had taken it away from me in two seconds! I didn't want to die in such an unpleasant way! I knew had no control over how life decided to play out for me, but that didn't mean I liked the way things happened to me! It wasn't _fair_! Why did bad things happen to good people!?

The black curtain of unconsciousness tugged at my mind as I laid on the street in a puddle of my own blood, but I had a distinct resolve to continue living. The chances an ambulance would arrive on time to save me were slim to none, but I wanted to _live_. I wanted to have a second chance to live my life, damn it!

Fortunately, or unfortunately—I wasn't sure which based on what I was about to experience—someone heard my thoughts. Destiny decided she hadn't had enough fun playing with me that day.

The black curtain that took over my field of vision soon turned into red fuzz. I suddenly had this distinct feeling of tightness wrap around me. I squirmed in…wherever I was. I was rather claustrophobic; I did not like being stuck in tight places nor being in close proximity to other people. It was more so due to the uncomfortableness than any bad experience with them. I was anxious as to why I was stuck in red fuzz, had little to no control over the rest of my body, and trapped in an enclosed space.

I launched a kick at the red fuzz. Nothing happened. That pissed me off. So not only was I stuck in red fuzz, but I couldn't escape from it! Was this Hell? Was there some evil supernatural being out there that was tormenting me for all the times I did bad things to people? If so, then what sort of sick sense of pleasure was this!?

I wanted out! _Now_!

I was thinking about throwing out another kick at the red fuzz when I heard it; a certain thumping sound. It was echoing all around me in an even beat. It had been there all along and I had only just noticed it. It was a rather soothing sound and it was somehow calming me down. I started to feel tired the longer I listened to the rhythmic thumping. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.

* * *

I had no idea how long I was floating in the red fuzz. At one point, I was able to hear warbled sounds coming from somewhere nearby. I jokingly wondered if aliens had abducted my damaged body and were performing experiments on it while my brain was floating in some container filled with formaldehyde. I wanted to laugh; like _that_ would ever happen.

From that point onwards, I could hear the constant warbling echoing around the red fuzz. However, there was one that was always louder and clearer than the others. It was light and sweet, like the noise our wind chime made on my family's porch. I loved to hear wind chimes making music. So I had dubbed that specific warbling "Bell" because of the beautiful sound it always seemed to make, just like a wind chime. In fact, hearing Bell calmed me down faster than hearing the drum in the red fuzz. Just because I had eventually gotten used to the closeted feeling around me, it didn't mean I liked it. I still had a small sense of anxiety in the red fuzz and I probably would always feel that way. Whenever I felt restless, Bell seemed to know. It spoke to me, sending waves of reassurance and love to me. There was a special link between me and Bell, I concluded. No other warbling could get me to calm down like Bell could.

* * *

I had lived in that odd existence for quite some time. I had no sense of how much time had passed in that red fuzz. Days? Months? Years? I didn't know. Honestly, I think I was sleeping for over half of it. My existence was a rather boring one consisting of the following: kick the fuzz, squirm in place, listen to warbling or the beating drum, and sleep. There were times where I wondered if I had somehow fallen into a coma after I was shot in the head. Maybe I got my wish and I was still alive, but merely in a vegetative state? Well, that would be a sucky existence! I might as well have died!

I had instantly regretted those mental words soon after. I heard Bell, but it sounded panicked and worried. Something _wrong_ was happening, I just knew it. It was strange; but whenever Bell felt something, I felt it too. When it was happy, I felt happy. When it was sad, I wanted to try and make Bell feel better so I would kick the red fuzz and it would somehow understand my intention. When it was angry, I wanted to rip apart whoever pissed Bell off. But this time, I feared that I couldn't help Bell this time.

I felt something in the red fuzz squeezing me and it hurt. I didn't understand why it hurt so much and that scared me. It was said that one of humanity's greatest fears was the fear of the unknown. I thought that it was a rather great description of how I felt at that moment. I had no control over what was happening; powerless to stop the pain and powerless to stop Bell from screaming. I did not like screaming. Screaming meant that bad things were happening out there in the red fuzz.

The pain increased and something was pushing me. What the hell was pushing me!? Screw you, whatever you are! I'd rather stay in the red fuzz than deal with the discomfort I was feeling! I struggled in place as the pushing continued. I felt something cold near my head and that scared the crap out of me. During the entire time I was in the red fuzz, I never felt the touch of anything on my body. To suddenly feel something cold touching me after who knows how long of floating in warm red fuzz was shocking for me.

Whatever was pushing me was trying to force me through whatever opening was near my head. If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was the perfect birthing simulator where you're playing the baby coming out of your mother. It would be the weird ass type of simulator guys on YouTube would play. But that was impossible. I was a sixteen-year-old girl who was still growing in size; not a little newborn baby! Another push interrupted my thoughts and I was being squeezed through that opening. It hurt like hell. Judging from what I was feeling, it felt like the opening was only about the size of a mandarin orange. A normal human head was at least the size of a watermelon.

There's a conflict of size here! Stop pushing me, please! It's never going to work!

Whatever was pushing me wasn't listening to me and kept trying to shove my head through that tiny opening. I inwardly groaned as I attempted to ignore the pain. I laid there, waiting for the pushing to stop once it realized it was never going to succeed in shoving me through that opening. It wouldn't work. It would be like trying to fit a giant square block into a tiny square opening. The sizes of my head and the opening didn't match up. The only result that would occur from this was pain for me and Bell.

A sudden lurch changed my opinions as I felt my head slowly going through that opening.

Holy crap! It was actually _working_!?

Another push and I felt my head being squeezed as it slowly made its way through the opening. The warbling I heard before soon turned into random shouting. I wanted to open my eyes to see what the hell was going on, but I felt that they were squeezed shut. The bright light of the sun was burning through my eyelids. I had been encased in darkness for so long, seeing sunlight through my eyelids was a joyous relief to me.

One last lurch and I felt myself falling. I panicked when I felt extremely _large_ hands catch me. What was more unnerving was that they touched the entirety of my body. I felt small. I was cold. My body didn't feel right. My movements were all involuntary and I couldn't keep them under control. Why were my bodily functions not listening to me!? All the time this was happening, those people were still speaking nonsense. What the hell were they saying!?

A warm, fluffy cloth was quickly wrapped around me. I assumed it was a blanket and I welcomed the immediate warmth it gave me. I felt whoever was holding me hand me to someone else. I felt strong, thick arms wrap around my small form and I heard the heartbeat of whoever was holding me as they held me to their chest. I slowly worked my way with opening my eyes. My eyes weren't listening to me either, just like the rest of my appendages.

Get them under control, Diana! They are YOUR eyes, after all!

I slowly forced my eyes to open, but it wasn't an easy feat. The bright light in the room made it hard for me to make out shapes and details. But I was determined to see what was going on! I hated not knowing what was happening around me.

Once my eyes were open, I blinked a few times in confusion. I was looking up at the man holding me. I felt my eyes bulge in shock. I really _was_ small! But what was worse was that I _recognized_ this man. How could I forget that face? How could I forget those eyes? How could I not recognize the symbol on the headband he was wearing?

The same face of Hinata's father, but not really her father. Pale lavender eyes. The symbol of a leaf.

This man was Hizashi Hyuga, Neji Hyuga's father from the _Naruto_ anime series.

_Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit_!

I was having an internal fangirl moment and a normal freak-out at the same time. _Naruto_ characters didn't exist, yet Hizashi frickin' Hyuga was holding me! So, that meant I _was_ a baby! That meant that the red fuzz I was in was…

Oh gawd, _noooooooooooooooooooooo_! Mind bleach! Mind bleach! I need mind bleach, please!

It sounded like I really did get my wish and I was going to get my second chance at life; this time, a life in the world of _Naruto_. It sounded like one of those fanfictions on the internet where someone died and got reborn as a character's sister or brother. So, I was Neji Hyuga's sister. Dang, why couldn't I have been reborn as Hinata or Hanabi if I was going to be a Hyuga? Oh well. I should be grateful I was still alive instead of dying in a pool of my own blood.

That meant the people around me were other members of the Hyuga clan and they were speaking in Japanese. I only knew a little bit of Japanese from watching the subbed episodes of various animes. To think I would have to learn an entirely new language unnerved me. I certainly hoped I would retain a child's amazing cognitive learning skills they had from birth till about age two or three; otherwise, I was screwed.

My eyes wandered around in curiosity. I wondered if I could see Hinata or Neji somewhere. You'd think if there was a birth of a new Hyuga, even one from the Branch family, the super important elders would be there. Those assholes would put the curse mark seal on a baby if they could; I wouldn't put it past them. But no matter where I looked, I didn't see anyone looking remotely like a douchebag elder of the Hyuga clan. However, I did see another familiar face.

The same face as my new father, but without the curse mark. In other words, Hiashi Hyuga; the Head of the Hyuga clan.

He spoke with Hizashi about something; perhaps congratulating him on the birth of his new daughter. Yet, there was a distinct look of sadness on his face. Even if I had no idea what was said, I had a bad feeling that he was telling him that Bell, who I now knew was Hizashi's wife, didn't survive birthing me. I could always read facial expressions very well, so I often knew whenever one of my friends back home wasn't being honest with me. I remembered that the anime never mentioned who Neji's mother was or even suggested whether if she was alive or not. Now I knew I would never get the chance to know who the amazing woman who gave me life in this world was like. That made me rather depressed.

I looked back up to Hizashi, feeling guilty about the situation. I wanted a new life when my previous one was taken away, but Bell lost hers in the process. Perhaps if I had just been a good girl and accepted my fate, then Bell would've survived and Neji wouldn't be left without a mother. But if I did, I'd be just like Neji and be accepting of whatever fate decided to throw at me. But I _wasn't_ like him! I liked to believe that we can forge our own destinies; destiny is our bitch! Like hell was I gonna let fate destroy my life by throwing a bastard wielding a gun at me! I wouldn't accept it! No way, no how!

"Neji. Hyuga Neji."

I blinked in confusion as Hizashi made eye contact with me. He was smiling lightly at me. I frowned; who was he addressing when he said that? I didn't see a child resembling Neji anywhere. In fact, he was focusing on me when he said that name.

I blinked again, putting two and two together.

Wait…was he addressing _me_ as Neji? But that can't be right! I was a girl! Neji Hyuga was one hundred percent male! Sure, he was _forced_ to cross-dress by Lee more than once in the "Rock Lee and His Ninja Pals" spin-off, but that didn't count! I squirmed in Hizashi's arms in protest. Although, while doing so, I felt something very, very _wrong_ in between my legs.

Please. NO. _Don't_ tell me that object is what I think it is.

I moved my legs a little more, still feeling that _thing_ there in between my legs. I felt tears gather in my eyes.

"Neji?" Hizashi said again, seemingly confused at my strange behavior since I was so calm earlier.

No. No no no! NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! This was all _wrong_! I was a girl, not a guy! Female, not male! X chromosome, not Y!

Okay, calm down, Diana! There has to be a bright side to this! There _has_ to be!

On the bright side, I had the Byakugan. Nearly three-sixty degree vision, fifty meter field of vision, and basically works like an X-ray machine; that meant I could _finally_ see what was under the mask that Kakashi wore under his first mask! _Yes_! Chew on that, fangirls! I get to see the real thing instead of artist speculations on Deviantart!

But on the downside, it sounded like I _was_ Neji Hyuga; the fate-loving jerkwad of the Chunin Exams in the _Naruto_ series. The same Neji who nearly killed Hinata. The same Neji who _died_ for Naruto. I was going to have to learn how to use all those fancy Main Branch techniques on my own. I was going to have to learn how to _kill_ people. I was going to be stuck with that useless knife-throwing bitch and the ever optimistic Rock Lee on a team run by Might Guy! Merciful lord, help my sanity now!

Even more specifically, I was a baby; even worse, I was a _boy_. That meant I had to deal with a whole different set of hormonal changes. I wasn't looking forward to getting really horny in my teens…Not only that, but I had to learn how to go to the bathroom all over again! Damn, going to the wash closet in public was going to be so _awkward_ for me...I'd be trespassing on the sacred land of manhood and they would never know!

Holy shit…I would know what it would feel like to get a _boner_! _**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO**_!

I let out a high-pitched wail at that thought.

"Naka na, Neji," I heard Hizashi say. I knew what that meant. It meant "don't cry, Neji".

That didn't calm me down at all. It only cemented the horror of what I was going to face in this new world; cemented the fact that I was really _Neji Hyuga_. So I did the only thing I could to express my extreme anger and fear: I screamed louder and harder.

What did I do in life to deserve _this_!?

* * *

**This was just an idea that's been poking around my mind for a while. I read some fanfics and there were numerous self-insert OCs who got stuck in the body of a Naruto character, usually Sakura (that useless bitch!). There were times where female OCs got stuck in the body of male characters too! When I read those stories, it bothered me that these female OCs took the entire situation all in stride and didn't completely freak out when they learned they were the OPPOSITE gender!**

**I am here to rectify this mistake! I hope to paint a realistic reaction for the OC for her given situation. I also wanted to choose a character I liked, but wasn't used often in these types of stories. Then, BAM! It hit me! Neji Hyuga! One of my top favorite characters before the Uchihas decided to dominate my list. I've always liked Team Guy, minus Tenten, but they aren't used very often in fanfics compared to other characters.**

**I'm also doing it for personal fangirlish reasons. Neji died in the manga...I will _not _acknowledge it! I refuse! NEVER!  
**


End file.
